The meaning of “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women)”; and is it possible to find a wife who is righteous both outwardly and inwardly?

 

I wrote this message after I read an essay. In its end a situation was mentioned: Al-laalkaa’e narrated that when a man mentioned A’yesha, may Allah be pleased with her, in a bad manner in Al-hasan ben zaid’s presence, he ordered to kill this man by sword. The Alwiyyoun said: he is one of our group. So Al-hasan said: “we seek refuge with Allah from this, this man slandered the prophet, peace be upon him. Allah Almighty says (interpretation of the meaning): “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women) such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision”

 
So if A’yesha may Allah be pleased with her is a bad woman then the prophet, peace be upon him is also bad. Thus, this man is infidel; kill him by sword, so they killed him.  

 
What is the explanation of this verse “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women) such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision”

 
I had a personal experiment myself; I married a girl who I though is religious, my aim was to establish a righteous Muslim home in which I try my best to follow the approach of our honourable prophet, peace be upon him, and his companions. In brief, I did not ask about her very well before marriage, I found her to be very vile. May Allah forgive her and me. Most of her talk was lies and tricks. I did not feel she has any passion for Islam or for righteousness. I divorced her after I knew she is not going to change herself, we have one child.


I love Islam too much and I love anyone I feel he is religious, and I have strong hatred to those who are immoral especially if they insist on sinning or announce their sins.

 
My marriage and divorce experiment was the bitterest I had in my life. I now fear I repeat the bitter experience again. I wish to find who will help me be more religious. How can I be assured while people are content to show opposite of who they really are? Especially when it comes to such matters as marriage.

 
Before I married that woman I prayed istikhara many times and consulted Allah, I was sometimes crying and asking Allah to guide me, especially when I see bad signs from her side or from her family that indicates they are not religious people.

 
I am not trying to say it is not my fault, or to show myself as the better one in this relationship. By I love Islam, by Allah, and am very jealous for Islam, and I hate lying strongly. Briefly, I do not think it is in my hands to get the right one even if I ask very well and collect information about the girl or try to test her personality before marriage. Unless if Allah has mercy on me and blesses me with giving me a righteous wife.  


Marriage nowadays became very difficult. I, by Allah, think it is of the most difficult matters, and the most difficult part of it is finding a moral and religious wife. I think it is impossible unless Allah permits. When I read or hear the mentioned verse, I feel very sad; does it mean that I chose my previous wife because I deserve this? I know it is a test from Allah, but I want to have a clear explanation of the verse and, if possible, the rest of my queries.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

The
mufassireen differed concerning the meaning of the verse (interpretation of
the meaning):  

“Bad
statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for
bad statements (or bad men for bad women)”

[al-Noor
24:26] 

Some of them
said that it refers to bad and good words, so the meaning of the verse is:
Evil words are for evil men, and evil people are for evil words, and good
words are for good people, and good people are for good words. 

Others said
that it refers to evil and good actions. So the meaning of the verse is:
Evil actions are for evil men, and evil people are for evil actions, and
good actions are for good people, and good people are for good actions. 

The third
opinion concerning this verse is that evil and good refer to people with
regard to marriage. So the meaning of the verse is: evil women are for evil
men, and evil men are for evil women, and good women are for good men, and
good men are for good women. 

There is no
reason why the verse cannot be understood in all these senses, although the
most obvious meaning is the first one mentioned, and this is the opinion of
the majority of mufassireen. The second view comes next. 

Shaykh ‘Abd
al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

“Bad
statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for
bad statements (or bad men for bad women)”
means all evil men, women, words and actions that are fit for evil and in
accordance with it or accompanied by it and in harmony with it, and all good
men, women, words and actions that are fit for good and in accordance with
it or accompanied by it and in harmony with it. This explanation is general
in meaning and nothing is excluded from that. One of the greatest
application of this is that with regard to the Prophets – especially the
Messengers of strong will, and especially their leader, Muhammad (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who is the best among all the good of
creation – only the best of women are suitable for them. So the one who
slanders ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) in this manner is
slandering the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
which was the aim of the slander (al-ifk) fabricated by the
hypocrites. The mere fact that she was the wife of the Messenger (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) confirms that she was nothing but good
and pure and innocent of these reprehensible matters. 

So how about
when she is the siddeeqah of women, the best, most knowledgeable and purest
of them, the beloved of the Messenger of the Lord of the Worlds? Revelation
did not come down to him when he was under the same cover as any of his
wives except her. Then the verse states clearly, so that there will be no
opportunity for any propagator of falsehood to say anything and no room for
any doubt whatsoever:  

“such (good
people) are innocent of (every) bad
statement which they say”

[al-Noor
24:26] 

The reference
is primarily to ‘Aa’ishah, and then to the believing chaste women. 

“for
them is forgiveness” [al-Noor 24:26]

meaning,
forgiveness for all of their sins. 

“and
Rizqun Kareem (generous provision, i.e. Paradise)”
i.e., in Paradise, coming from the Generous Lord. 

Tafseer
al-Sa’di
(p. 563). 

Secondly: 

What you have
quoted about the killing of a man who slandered ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her) is true. This is what the Muslim rulers should do, which
is to execute everyone who slanders ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with
her), because impugning the honour of ‘Aa’ishah is disbelief in the Qur’aan,
and impugning the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
Either of these actions implies kufr which puts a person beyond the pale of
Islam, and the one who does it deserves to be executed for apostasy. 

In
al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (22/185) it says: 

The fuqaha’
are unanimously agreed that the one who slanders ‘Aa'ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her) has disbelieved the clear, unambiguous statement of the
Qur’aan that was revealed concerning her, and hence he is a kaafir. Allaah
says – in the hadeeth of the slander (al-ifk), after Allaah declared that
she was innocent – “Allaah forbids you from it and warns you not to
repeat the like of it forever, if you are believers” [al-Noor 24:18]. So
the one who goes back to that is not a believer. 

Are all the
other wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
regarded as being like her? 

The Hanafis
and the Hanbalis, according to the correct opinion, which was favoured by
Ibn Taymiyah, say that they are all like her. They quoted as evidence the
verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Bad
statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for
bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good
people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or
good men for good women): such (good people) are innocent of (every) bad
statement which they say; for them is forgiveness, and Rizqun Kareem
(generous provision, i.e. Paradise)”

[ al-Noor
24:26] 

Slandering
them implies slander of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) and impugning his honour, which is forbidden. 

The other
view, which is that of the Shaafa’is and the other view of the Hanbalis, is
that they – apart from ‘Aa’ishah – are like the rest of the Sahaabah; the
one who reviles them is to be flogged, because he is a slanderer. End
quote. 

Shaykh
Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Slandering
‘Aa’ishah with regard to that of which Allaah has declared her innocent is
kufr, because it is disbelieving the Qur’aan. With regard to slandering
other wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
there are two scholarly opinions, the sounder of which is that it is kufr,
because it is a slander against the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him), because “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad
women for bad men).”  

Majmoo’
Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen
(5/p.86) 

See also the
answer to question no. 954. 

Thirdly:

It was
narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women may be married
for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their
religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your
hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari,
5090; Muslim, 1466. 

It is not
impossible for a man to find a righteous wife who will help him to obey
Allaah, serve him, raise his children, and look after his wealth and house.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised men to
marry the woman who is religiously committed. If it were not possible or
within a man’s capability to find that religiously committed woman, the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would not have
advised him to marry her. He is the one who said in the same hadeeth that
some men marry women for their beauty, and some marry them for their lineage
or their wealth. Men choose women according to their own desires and
traditions and customs, but his advice to all men is to look for the woman
who is religiously committed and marry them, because in marrying such a
woman there is a great deal of good which the man will see in himself, his
house and his children. 

You should not
give up hope of finding a woman who is religiously committed and of good
character. The Muslim ummah is still doing well and there are still Muslim
families which are raising women who are of good character and committed to
Islam, and are brought up in this manner. 

The failure of
one experience of marriage does not mean that the same will happen to all
subsequent marriages. What happened to you may have been a punishment to you
because of your shortcomings in asking and finding out about the woman whom
you married. 

People know
one another and mix with one another, so the state of a family and its
members will not be hidden from their relatives and neighbours. The members
of the family mix with people in the mosque and school and when visiting
people, so a righteous woman will be known and distinguished from the
opposite, and the religiously committed man will be known and distinguished
from his opposite, by their adhering to regular prayer, and adherence to
outward shar’i laws, and their attitude in dealing with others. What one of
them hides inwardly is something that no one can know, and the one who is
deceived by outward righteousness when a person is inwardly corrupt is not
to be blamed, because our Lord does not require us to look at what is hidden
inside people. 

Moreover, what
is applicable to the women among whom you are looking for a life partner is
also applicable to you. How do people know who you really are, or what you
are like inwardly? Guardians have been advised to give their female
relatives in marriage to men who are religiously committed and of good
character, based on what they can see, as well as asking and finding out
from the relatives of the suitor. Whatever wrong impressions and deceit may
happen on the part of the woman may also happen – and more so – on the part
of the man. So you should not be anxious or worry because of your first
marriage. All you have to do now is look carefully, and ask good people
about good families who raise their daughters to obey Allaah and with good
morals and attitudes. Then you can focus your questions about the one whom
you want to marry from those families, by asking her friends and classmates
about her commitment and righteousness, and about her attitude and
interactions with others. Thus you will have followed the advice of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and we hope that
you will not be disappointed by her and that they will not be disappointed
by you. 

We ask Allaah
to help you to make a good choice and to bless you with a righteous wife who
will keep you chaste and you will keep her chaste, and you will treat her
well and she will treat you well, and to bless you with good and righteous 
children. 

For more
information on the qualities to be sought in the wife, please see the
answers to questions no. 26744 and
10376. 

And Allaah is
the Source of strength.

The danger of admiration between members of the same sex, the remedy, and how the one who is admired should react

 

When a person admires your personality and becomes attracted to you, and then for this admiration to pass the limits (like when a girl likes another girl) how should one react to this? 


How to treat this person without causing haram for him/her or yourself? Bear in mind that it is sometimes difficult to control oneself in such a trial. What do you advise a person who is like this (in terms of this life and the hereafter)? 


May Allah reward you! This matter is very important, may Allah bless you with paradise.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

The natural inclination is for a man to be attracted to a
woman, and for a woman to be attracted to a man. As for a person being
attracted to another member of his or her own sex, this is contrary to the
sound human nature that Allaah has instilled in people, and it does not
exist even among animals. In addition to being contrary to sound human
nature, it is at a lower level than that of animals. 

Islam has refined this natural inclination and has set out
limits for it, namely marriage. The one who does not agree with these shar’i
limits would choose the immoral action of zina. As for deviant relationships
in which a girl is attracted to another girl or a man to another man, this
is a perversion and a deviation from correct, sound human nature. These
sinful relationships lead to something that is even more abhorrent than
zina, namely homosexuality between males, and improper relationships between
women lead to lesbianism, which is another kind of deviance. 

Sinful relationships between members of both sexes begin with
what is called admiration or infatuation. This is a serious disease which is
widespread in all societies as the result of a spiritual vacuum and lack of
knowledge and as the result of imitating kaafir societies which have gone
against human nature. This infatuation leads to love, in which the girl
cannot bear not to see the one whom she loves; if she is not able to do
that, then she will listen to her voice or look at a picture of her. Then
that sinful relationship leads to lesbianism, which is haraam. These deviant
women do not see in a man what they see in the woman they admire of
fulfilling desire and filling the heart with love. You can say the same
thing about sinful relationships between males. The love between them leads
to infatuation in the heart, as if there were no one else in the world but
him, and if the beloved were to ask his lover to prostrate to him, he would
do it! We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound. This sinful relationship
ultimately leads to the abhorrent immoral action of homosexuality, and among
those perverts you see no attraction towards a woman, even if she were the
most beautiful of women. 

The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked: 

What is the ruling on lesbianism and masturbation? 

They replied: 

Lesbianism among women is haraam, and is a major sin, because
it is an action that is contrary to the words of Allaah (interpretation of
the meaning): 

“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts,
from illegal sexual acts)

6. Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their
right hands possess, __
for then, they are free from blame;

7. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the
transgressors”

[al-Mu’minoon 23:5-7] 

Similarly masturbation is haraam, because of these same
verses, and because it causes a great deal of harm. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Razzaaq
‘Afeefi, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ghadyaan, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qa’ood. 

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah
(22/68). 

Secondly: 

The person who realizes that there is someone close to him
who admires him or is infatuated with him should hasten to deal with the
matter wisely. Wisdom does not mean being heedless with regard to looking,
visiting and touching, because these are things that may make his sickness
worse, and make the pain worse. Rather wisdom means offering a suitable
remedy in a suitable manner, which includes the following: 

1.

Strengthening his faith, by encouraging him to do acts of
worship and avoid evil deeds. 

2.

Instilling the love of Allaah and His Messenger (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in his heart. 

3.

Teaching him the meaning of love for the sake of Allaah, the
basis of which is that the person who is loved for the sake of Allaah is
loved for his  faith and acts of obedience, not for his appearance, image or
status.  

4.

Not giving him the opportunity to make contact repeatedly or
to visit frequently; explaining to him that if a legitimate relationship
transgresses the limits it becomes haraam and must be stopped. 

5.

When meeting, not allowing him to look continuously, embrace
or kiss. 

6.

Giving him academic or da’wah-related tasks to do, such as
collecting evidence on a certain issue, or summarizing a book, or listening
to tapes, or doing da’wah-related activities such as calling people to
Islam, distributing pamphlets and tapes, and other things which will fill
his time with beneficial acts of worship and permissible activities. 

Secondly:  

If a Muslim feels that he is attracted to someone and fears
that this may be one of the tricks of the shaytaan, then he should hasten to
rid himself of it, and to treat himself, before it develops further and
becomes haraam love . If he wants to rid himself of that, he should do
several things, including the following: 

1.

He should focus his heart on his Lord, for He is the Bestower
of blessings and bounty Who has granted him immense blessings, so he should
direct the love of his heart towards his Creator. 

2.

He should cut off ties with everyone who he feels he is
developing an (inappropriate) attachment towards, so he should not continue
to listen to his voice or look at his image; he should try to avoid meeting
him, even if the focus of his love is a teacher, educator or relative. This
is the best remedy that he can give himself. 

3.

He should continually read about the lives of righteous
people, scholars and mujaahideen, so that he can learn from those who
offered their time and their lives in the service of Islam and the Muslims
whilst he is preoccupied with looking at the image of his beloved or
enjoying listening to his voice, or reading his words. These are things that
are it is not befitting for a Muslim to do even once, so how about if this
is his whole life?! 

4.

He should also ponder the grave and serious effects of these
two destructive diseases, namely haraam infatuation and love. The harm that
they cause includes the following:

(i)               
Diverting a person from his
Lord and Creator to focus on a weak creature who may harm him but cannot
benefit him

(ii)             
Creating worry, anxiety, grief,
confusion and depression in this world, and torment in the Hereafter

(iii)           
Imagining kinds of haraam
actions with the object of his love and infatuation, such as looking,
touching and kissing with desire. That may even lead a woman to lesbianism
and a man to homosexuality to bring these images out of the realm of
imagination and into the realm of reality.

(iv)           
Contamination of sound human
nature (fitnah) with a weakening of natural sexual desire, which will lead
to spoiling of a woman’s relationship with her husband and her desire for
the haraam things that she has become used to; similar effects may also
apply to men. 

Fourthly: 

Relationships between Muslims should be based on sharee’ah
and taqwa (piety). The one who comes together with another person on the
basis of sin in this world will find their relationship turned into one of
enmity on the Day of Resurrection. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):  

“Friends on that Day will be foes one to another except
Al‑Muttaqoon (the pious”

[al-Zukhruf 43:67] 

Imam Ibn Jareer al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: 

Allaah says: Those who were friends on the basis of
disobedience towards Allaah in this world will be enemies of one another,
disavowing one another, except for those who were friends on the basis of
fearing and obeying Allaah. 

Tafseer al-Tabari (21/637). 

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

i.e., every friendship that was not for the sake of Allaah,
on the Day of Resurrection will be turned into enmity, except that which was
for the sake of Allaah, for that will last because it is connected to the
One Who is eternal.  

Tafseer Ibn Katheer (7/237). 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: 

If friendship and love are based on something other than the
best interests of both parties, then the consequences will be enmity. It can
only be in their best interests if it is for the sake of Allaah.  

Even though each one of them may be helping the other to
achieve what he wants on the basis of mutual consent, this mutual consent
counts for nothing, rather it will become mutual hatred, enmity and curses,
and each of them will say to the other: Were it not for you I would not have
done that on my own, so my doom is because of me and you.  

And the Lord will not prevent them from hating and cursing
one another, but if one of them wronged the other, he will be prevented from
doing that, and each of them will say to the other: It was for your own
purposes that you caused me to fall into this; like two who committed zina
will say to one another: It was for your own purposes that you did this with
me; if you had refrained I would not have been involved in it. But each of
them damaged the other equally.   

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (15/129) 

The gate of repentance is open to everyone who wants to seek
His Countenance, and the blessings of faith and obedience are available to
everyone who wants to join His friends. Allaah forgives sins and accepts
repentance, and He turns bad deeds into good. He says (interpretation of the
meaning): 

“Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic
Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their
sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Furqaan 25:70] 

“And verily, I am indeed
forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none
in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant
in doing them (till his death)”

[Ta-Ha 20:82] 

For more information, please see the answers to questions no.
10050, which explains why Islam forbids lesbianism and homosexuality;
21058
which explains the punishment for lesbianism;
60351 and
36837, which have to
do with the phenomenon of schoolgirls kissing one another every day and
kissing on the lips; and 591 which explains the ruling on one woman loving
another to the extent that they cannot bear to be apart. 

And Allaah knows best.

Her fiancé refuses to let her wear hijab

 

I am a religiously-committed Tunisian girl, but I have a problem. My fiancé refuses to let me wear hijab – even modern hijab. I am wondering whether I should go ahead with the marriage or reject him? Please note that most Tunisians are like this.

Praise be to Allaah.

Our advice to you is to
heed the command that Allaah has given to all people, the earlier and later
(generations), advice that combines the best of this world and the
Hereafter. Allaah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And verily, We have
recommended to the people of the Scripture before you, and to you (O
Muslims) that you (all) fear Allaah, and keep your duty to Him”

[al-Nisa’ 4:131] 

What goodness can there be
in this world if it involves incurring the wrath of the Lord, may He be
exalted? What happiness can there be if it is not following that path that
leads to Allaah’s pleasure? Would a believer be happy to make gains in this
world and lose out in the Hereafter? 

Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! Fear
Allaah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has
sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of
what you do. 

19. And be not like
those who forgot Allaah (i.e. became disobedient to Allaah), and He caused
them to forget their ownselves (let them to forget to do righteous deeds).
Those are the Faasiqoon (rebellious, disobedient to Allaah).

20. Not equal are the
dwellers of the Fire and the dwellers of the Paradise. It is the dwellers of
Paradise that will be successful”

[al-Hashr 59:18-20]. 

The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) told men to choose a wife who is
religiously-committed, and he told women and their guardians to choose a man
who is also religiously-committed.  

It was narrated that Abu
Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one whose
religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your female
relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there
will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi
and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah
(1022). 

The man who prevents his
wife from wearing hijab is not a man of good character or religiously
committed who deserves to be married. Rather it is most likely that the one
who prevents his wife from wearing hijab will also be negligent about other
major sins and actions that doom one to Hell. How can he protect his wife
and household, or how can he raise his children to obey Allaah when he is
disobeying Him and telling others to do likewise? 

It says in al-Mawsoo’ah
al-Fiqhiyyah (24/62): 

The wali (guardian) should
not give the female relative in his care in marriage to anyone but a man who
is pious and righteous. End quote. 

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan
said in al-Muntaqa (4/question no. 198): 

When marrying, we should
choose righteous spouses who adhere firmly to their religion, who respect
the sanctity of marriage and the importance of good treatment (of spouses).
It is not permissible to be careless with regard to this matter. Such
heedlessness has become widespread nowadays, with regard to this important
matter. People give their daughters and female relatives in marriage to men
who do not fear Allaah and the Last Day, and they end up complaining about
the husbands and they are confused about how to deal with them. If they had
looked for a righteous man before marriage, Allaah would have made it easy
for them (to find such a man). But in most cases this stems from negligence
and a failure to seek righteous husbands, and a bad man can never be
suitable. It is not permissible to take this matter lightly, because (such a
man) will mistreat the woman and he may lead her away from her religion or
influence her children. End quote. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said
in Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb (al-Nikaah/Ikhtiyaar al-Zawj/question
no. 16): 

What the woman’s guardian
must do if a suitor comes to propose to her is to find out about his
religious commitment and character. If they are good then he should give her
to him in marriage, and if they are not good then he should not do so, and
Allaah will bring to his female relatives one who is religiously committed
and of good character, for when Allaah knows that the reason why the
guardian did not give her to that suitor was so that a man of good character
and religious commitment could propose to her, then He will help him to find
such a man. End quote. 

What we think is that you
should not accept this fiancé, and Allaah will compensate you with someone
better than him. 

And Allaah knows best.

She repented from a haram relationship in which she lost her virginity. Should she marry who fornicated with her?

 

I am in a relationship with a man who took my virginity. I repented from such evil deeds and ask Allah to accept my repentance. This man proposed to me, but he is not religious, he smokes cigarettes and hashish and drinks alcohol. What should I do, he knows my matter. Or shall I leave him and have a hymen repair operation done and marry a religious man? I was pregnant and I aborted the baby. Allah knows how sincere my repentance is.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Zina
(fornication or adultery) is a major sin. Allaah has forbidden doing the
things that lead to it and has prescribed the hadd punishment for the one
who does it, and He has warned adulterers of punishment in the Hereafter. 

Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“And come
not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that
transgresses its limits: a great sin), and an evil way that leads one to
hell unless Allaah forgives him”

[al-Isra’
17:32]. 

Ibn Jareer
al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

“And come
not near” O people 

“to
unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its
limits: a great sin)”. Zina (translated here as “unlawful sex”) is a
great sin.  

“and an
evil way” i.e., the way of zina is an evil way, because it is the way of
the people who disobey Allaah and go against His command; what a bad way is
the way that leads a person to the fire of Hell. 

Tafseer
al-Tabari
(17/438). 

Shaykh ‘Abd
al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The
prohibition on approaching it is more eloquent than a simple prohibition on
doing it, because that includes the prohibition on all the things that lead
to it and promote it, because “the one who grazes his flock around a
protected areas will soon transgress upon it,” especially in a matter of
this nature when the motive is very strong. Allaah describes zina as
abhorrent, as He says “it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses
its limits: a great sin)”, i.e., it is a sin which is abhorrent
according to sharee’ah, reason and common sense, because it is a
transgression against Allaah, and against the woman and her family or
husband, and it leads to immorality, confusion of lineages and other evil
consequences. 

“and an
evil way” means: what an evil way is the way of the one who dares to
commit this grave sin. 

Tafseer
al-Sa’di
(p. 457). 

See also the
answers to questions no. 76060,
20983 and
95754. 

Secondly: 

With regard to
the abortion, if the soul had been breathed into the foetus, then this is
another crime in addition to the crime of zina. If the soul had not yet been
breathed into the foetus then it is less serious. 

For a detailed
discussion on that, please see the answers to questions no.
11195,
13319,
13331 and
90054. 

Thirdly: 

We praise
Allaah for having enabled you to repent, and we hope that it is sincere
repentance. The conditions of sincere repentance include: regretting the
sins that you have committed, and immediately giving up that immoral action,
and everything that leads to it such as contact, correspondence and dates.
The conditions of repentance also include resolving not to return to this
deed. 

You also have
to do a lot of righteous deeds, such as prayer, reading Qur’aan and fasting,
so as to strengthen your faith and piety. Good deeds erase bad deeds and
sincere repentance erases that which came before it, and turns bad deeds
into good deeds. Allaah says – after mentioning the sins of shirk
(associating others with Allaah), murder and zina – (interpretation of the
meaning):  

“Except
those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous
deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah
is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” 

[al-Furqaan
25:70]. 

Fourthly: 

With regard to
marrying that criminal, you should understand that in order for the marriage
of a man and woman who had committed zina to be valid, it is essential that
they repent sincerely. It seems to us from your questions that he has not
repented from what he did, rather he had added to the first calamity the
other bad things that he is doing, such as smoking hasheesh and drinking
intoxicants. What we think is that one who is like this also does not pray.
If this is indeed the case, then it is definitely not permissible to accept
him as a husband, because not praying is kufr that puts a person beyond the
pale of Islam, and it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a
kaafir. 

For a more
detailed discussion on the issue of marrying a zaani (one who commits
fornication or adultery), please see the answers to questions no.
85335,
87894 and
96460. 

Fifthly: 

With regard to
having an operation to repair the hymen, this is haraam, because it is
deceiving the one who marries you. 

For a detailed
discussion of this matter, please see the answer to question no.
844. 

With regard to
telling your future husband that you lost your virginity in this haraam
relationship, that is not permissible, because it is exposing your faults,
and the Muslim is required to conceal his faults. You can use double
entendres in your speech. It is well known that the hymen may be broken by
means of something other than intercourse in some cases, so you can make the
most of that by using a double entendre. 

See the answer
to question no. 42992. 

But if it is
possible to encourage this person to repent sincerely and pray regularly,
and he shows sincerity and signs of repenting and praying regularly, then
there is nothing wrong with accepting him as a husband. Undoubtedly this
solution would be easier for you, and more concealing for you, but how could
one believe a person like that?! 

We ask Allaah
to accept your repentance and set your affairs straight, and to conceal our
faults and yours in this world and in the Hereafter. 

And Allaah
knows best.

Her sister does not pray and does not behave properly

 

What should i do of my younger sister. She does not offer any prayers, she is always telling lies and fighhting.The whole house is sick and tired of her.

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

We appreciate your getting in touch with us,
and we ask Allaah to guide us and protect us from the evil of our own selves.

 With regard to your sister’s situation, it
is the same in the case of many young people these days. We ask Allaah to guide them and us. Our duty towards them – as it seems to be – is as
follows:

 Firstly: we should turn to Allaah and ask
Him to guide them, for He is the controller of the hearts. Perhaps a du’aa’ from the heart will be the cause of her happiness in this world and in
the Hereafter.

 Secondly: you should stop dealing with her
on the basis that she is a child or that she does not know what is in her best interests. People – especially in adolescence – like the people
around them to make them feel that they are important; they do not like people to treat them as if they are still children.

 Thirdly: try to get her in touch with
righteous young women, and keep her away from her friends who are not good, even if that means changing her school. That should be done without
her realizing what is going on, because otherwise she may become more stubborn which will make the problem worse.

 Fourthly: You should not look at her with
disapproval only, rather you should express your approval of good things that she does and you should give her gifts if she does good things.

 Fifthly: you could advise her via a person
whom she likes, such as a teacher or friend, etc.

 Sixthly: You should try to give her tapes or
books containing teachings in an indirect manner, such as putting them near her or listening to the tape in the car whilst she is riding in it.

 With regard to her not praying, this is an
extremely serious matter. The status of prayer in Islam is that of a foundation on which the entire structure rests. Hence the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “The covenant that stands between us and them is prayer; whoever does not pray is a kaafir.” (Narrated
by al-Tirmidhi, 2621; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2113)

 And he (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: “Between a man and shirk and kufr stands his giving up prayer.” (Narrated by Muslim, 82).

 So you have to advise her and preach to her
and guide her to the right way; for this purpose you may combine encouragement and threat, gentleness and strictness; if the matter requires some
harshness sometimes, there is nothing wrong with using it.

 The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and hit them if they do not pray when they are ten, and
separate them in their beds.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 495; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 466.

 This strictness and harshness is only in her
best interests.

 We ask Allaah to set the affairs of the
Muslims straight.

Does his wife become haraam for him if he commits zina with her sister?

 

If a man commits zina with his wife’s sister, does his wife become haraam for him?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Allaah has forbidden a man
to be married to two sisters at the same time. Allaah says, listing the
women who are forbidden for marriage (interpretation of the meaning): 

“…and two sisters in
wedlock at the same time, …”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23] 

The scholars differed
concerning one who commits zina with his wife’s sister – is zina like
marriage to her or not? 

Ibn Qudaamah said in
al-Mughni: If he commits zina with his wife’s sister, Ahmad said: He
should refrain from having intercourse with his wife until three menstrual
cycles have passed. 

It may be that her sister
does not become haraam as the result of that, and neither do the other four,
because this is not a marriage, and simply having intercourse does not
prevent marriage (to her relatives), on the basis that intercourse with a
slave woman does not prevent marriage to any the four. End quote. 

Those who regarded it as
meaning that he cannot have intercourse with his wife until the woman with
whom he committed zina has completed her ‘iddah quoted two hadeeths as
evidence: 

1 – The report that the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever
believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not deposit his sperm in the
wombs of two sisters at the same time.” 

2 – The report that the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Cursed is
the one who deposits his sperm in the wombs of two sisters at the same
time.” 

But there is no basis for
these two hadeeths, so they are fabricated. 

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may
Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

There is no basis for
either version. 

Ibn al-Jawzi mentioned the
second version, but he did not attribute it to any of the books of hadeeth.
Ibn ‘Abd al-Haadi said: I did not find any isnaad for it after searching for
it in many books. End quote. 

Al-Talkhees al-Habeer
(3/343). 

The correct view is that
his zina does not make his wife haraam for him, but the 'iddah is obligatory
if she (the other woman) wants to get married after she repents. Her ‘iddah
does not have anything to do with his having intercourse with his wife. 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih
al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

It says in al-Rawd
al-Murbi’ by Shaykh Mansoor al-Bahooti al-Hanbali: The one who has
intercourse with his wife’s sister on the basis of a dubious marriage
contract or blatant zina, his wife become haraam for him, until the woman
with whom he had intercourse completes her ‘iddah. 

This means: if a man has
intercourse with his wife’s sister – Allaah forbid – we say to him: Your
wife is haraam for you until the woman with whom you had intercourse
completes the ‘iddah that is required of a woman who commits zina. And if it
so happens that the woman with whom he had intercourse becomes pregnant as a
result, his wife is not permissible for him until the one with whom he had
intercourse gives birth, even if the pregnancy lasts for four years! But we
prefer the first view, which is that zina does not have any effect, because
adultery cannot be regarded in the same terms as a valid marriage. End
quote. 

Al-Sharh al-Mumti’
(12/133, 134) 

And Allaah knows best.

Should he show that he is hafiz of Qur’aan so as to encourage people?

 

I am hafiz of Qur’aan, praise be to Allaah. Is speaking of that for the purpose of encouraging others permissible? Or is it something that should be kept secret between a person and his Lord? i.e. is it better to conceal it?.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is permissible for a
person to speak of what Allaah has blessed him with of knowledge or hifz
(memorization of Qur’aan) if that is done so as to ward off harm or to serve
the interests of people, such as if he wants to encourage them to memorize
Qur’aan and seek knowledge, and that is not regarded as the kind of
self-praise that is forbidden. Allaah tells us that Yoosuf (peace be upon
him) said (interpretation of the meaning): 

“[Yoosuf (Joseph)] said:
‘Set me over the store‑houses of the land; I will indeed guard them with
full knowledge” (as a minister of finance in Egypt)’”

[Yoosuf 12:55]. 

‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood
(may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I recited seventy-odd soorahs to the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the
companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) know that I am the most knowledgeable among them of the Book of
Allaah. If I knew that anyone was more knowledgeable than me, I would go to
him. Narrated by Muslim (4502). 

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth: This hadeeth shows that it
is permissible for a person to mention virtues and knowledge that he has if
there is a need for that. 

With regard to the
prohibition on praising oneself, that refers to praising oneself
unnecessarily, when the motive is boasting and self-admiration. But
prominent people often praised themselves when there was a need, such as to
ward off harm thereby or to achieve something that is in the people’s
interests, or to encourage them to acquire knowledge from him, and so on. An
example of serving the people’s interests is when Yoosuf (peace be upon him)
said: “Set me over the store‑houses of the land; I will indeed guard them
with full knowledge”, and an example of warding off harm is when
‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with him) said, when he was under siege that
he had supplied equipment to the army that went to Tabook, and had dug the
well of Roomah. And an example of encouragement to others is when Ibn
Mas’ood said this (the words quoted above) and when Sahl ibn Sa’d said:
There is no one left who has more knowledge of that than me, and when
someone else said: You have come to the expert, and so on. End quote. 

But whenever a person is
able to conceal his knowledge, that is better, because his showing it and
speaking of it may open the door to the shaytaan and cause him to fall into
pride and self-admiration. 

And Allaah knows best.

Following note from Learning Quran online Blog 

 

Learn holy Quran online which it self states in it that only those who are learn quran and pure should touch the holy text: This is indeed a Quran in Arabic in a book well-guarded, which none shall touch but those who are clean (56:77-79).  One should make formal ablutions before handling or Quran reading and this the quran tutor should tell in his quran teaching when quran for kids lessons are going on. After intercourse or menstrual bleeding one should not touch the holy Quran or do quran recitation and also not do quran memorization until after bathing non-Muslim should not handle the sacred text, but may listen to Quran online or read quran translation or exegesis. With all these things in mind when one is not reading or reciting holy Quran it should be closed and stored in nice and clean place, it should never be placed on floor or in a bathroom and Muslim should focus on reading quran the tajweed quran and its rules with a proper institute.